1. Catch da master criminal, Minx, and put her in prisun! (Then keep her stinky goodness for myself).
2. Crack down on da drug dealers! No more dealing Nip to impreshionuble yung kittens!
3. Disposed of da Nip I confyskate appropriately - after testing it for . . . er . . . strengf and tockisity of corse.
4. Round up da sex offenders * and haf DEM neutered (*by sex offenders I means da beans who aren't responsybul enuff to get dere poodins dere 'fixed efun tho we aint broked' operayshuns. I wonder if Daisy dus dat sort of operayshun?).
5. Keep da tom cats in lyne!
6. Edjumacate da baybee poodins on dere road rulz - lyke DO NOT RUN OWT ON DA ROAD WHEN DA BIG MASHEENS ARE COMING! But first, I have to lern dese rules myself, cos Meowmie is always yelling at me for it (I only do it when she gets home and I run to meet her).
7. Put da nastee peepul who poisoned da poodin and woofie fud wif bad stuffs dis year IN JAIL FUREVER! And EVEH!!!
8. Patrol da wuds near where I lif and get rid of all da vishus possums. And maybee da vishus deers too if I find any (Might need Mao and Rocky's help for dat one).
9. Show da udder police dat da woofies aren't da only ones who can be useful crime fighters. Fur instants, I cud track down da really *small* criminals dat da police woofies can't follow cos dey are too big.
10. Arrest da evil Vets for poodin abuse! Is is *really* nessysarry to put da cold glass fing up our bottoms?
11. Crak down on da firearms - NO MORE SQUIRTY WATER PISTOL GUNS. Speshully not when I'm trying to steal Meowmie's dinner frum da bench. Don't da beans know dat violence doesn't solve anyfing?
12. Speaking of violence, I wud work on decreasing da furmily violence. Lyke when Ebbie tries to eat me . . or Minx. Dat's bad. Sisfurs shud be nyce to each ofur.
13. And da most important fing I would do if I was a Police Poodin? LET PEOPLE KNOW DAT CATS ARE NOT REALLY BURGLERS